Thursday, June 16, 2005

The Man's Guide to Hangovers

The Man has been known to engage in a few libations from time to time and rarely encounters the pain and discomfort of a hangover. Here are my tips and myth busters about overcoming hangovers.



Pre-drinking:



Provided you're not a model, you'll probably have something in your gut before you start drinking. The Man recommends pizza or something that has bread in it. If you're the type of dummy that likes to mix beer and liquor, then eat something that won't burn coming back up.



The real secret can be summed up in one word: B-Complex. Well, make that two with a hyphen. And then make sure you're taking one that has Vitamin C in it as well. The Man is no scientist, but he's read enough (and is living proof) to know that taking a load of B vitamins prior to getting his drink on works. When you drink, your body loses thiamine and a good B vitamin will replace it.



Post-drinking:



Drink tons of water prior to going to bed. Chances are that at some point you've "broken the seal" and pissed about 20 times in 20 minutes and are dehydrated.



Next morning:



If you are such a lush that you can't make room in your throat for the vitamins because there's too much beer in there, try starting the morning off with a huge glass of water and some aspirin. You're probably dehydrated. Consider getting some more sleep as well. The Man knows first hand that drunk sleep isn't the same as regular sleep.



When it comes to the celebratory meal, nothing beats hash browns, eggs and some kind of meat -- the greasier and saltier, the better. The Man prefers the local greasy spoon special, $2.99 for two eggs, hash browns, toast and sausage.



If that's not enough, pick up some Gatorade and slam it like you just ran a marathon. Chances are you're as depleted as a distance runner, so you'll want to replenish the lost nutrients and water that you literally pissed away the night before.



Now of course your woman might give you a line or two about quitting drink all together to avoid a hangover, but The Man says brilliance works in its own way. I'm sure people told Jimi Hendrix to quit doing speedballs and heroin too.



Just remember the great W. C. Fields quote: "It's easy to give up drinking; I've done it a thousand times."



Tags: , B Vitamins

1 comment:

mattybinks said...

this is your funniest post yet!