Sunday, November 26, 2006

Rumblings of a Millen firing

Terry Foster is reporting in today's Detroit News that the Ford family is negotiating a buyout of Matt Millen's contract as the President and CEO of the Detroit Lions. This comes after a 5 year extension signed in August of 2005. Call it their version of the "Way Forward" plan.

The Man wants to offer up his advice for the interviewing process of the next Lions CEO:

1. Track record. If you hire another no-name, former player, no-experience dum-dum then this city's gonna riot. Look at the Tigers, Pistons and Red Wings - all have arguably the best front office men in their respective sports and are successful.

2. Have a plan for Day 1. Don't hire a great PR guy, a likable guy, a storyteller or a "visionary". Bring someone in who can make a difference on the first day and has a real plan in place to make this team a contender next year. The Ravens, Patriots, Bucs, Seahawks, Rams, et al went from mediocre teams to Superbowl contenders in one year. A five year turnaround isn't required when you can cut and sign players.

3. Talent. The Man hasn't seen such a bad judge of talent since he watched the first seasons of "Rockstar" on CBS. Charles Rogers? Mike Williams? Millen made a promise to draft players in his likeness - tough, hard nosed, bad asses - and went with finesse instead. Not to mention LAZY finesse. The Man watches Denver draft and trade and sign year after year and they always end up with diamonds in the rough - so why can't the Lions do the same?

4. Change the logo. Adding black highlights to the jersey isn't what The Man calls change. The Man's talking wholesale change. Like losing the Ford Blue from the jerseys and making them look intimidating (see: Tampa Bay Creamsicle colors to now). The current jersey stands for losing and mediocrity. Player put it on and murmur a "meh".

5. Dump Rory. Sorry, my friend, but this isn't a children's birthday party - overgrown stuff cartoon Lions don't belong on the football field. The Man suggests having real lions on the sidelines in cages. Now that's fucking intimidating.

6. Women. No, I'm not saying cater to women at the games. The current stadium is nice... almost too nice. This is supposed to be a bad ass, blue collar town - where we love our beer cheap, our stadiums outdoor and our women with big boobs. And since the first two aren't attainable at Ford Field at least give us real cheerleaders. The Man watches Tampa Bay and Dallas games and gets a boner, only fueling his machismo to scream louder at the TV. The Man's seen Automotion at the Palace, can't the Lions at least match that?

There's The Man's advice for rebuilding. Take it or keep losing.

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