Friday, December 23, 2005

Holiday Q&A with The Man

The Man has been getting a lot of questions recently from guys wanting to know more about The Man, proper holiday etiquette, rules for work parties and more. So here goes Round 1 of The Man's Mail bag.

Dear The Man,

My girlfriend has been hinting that she wants jewelry this Christmas, but I only make a meager salary and in order to buy the jewelery will have to stop buying beer for awhile. What would The Man do?"

Beer or Boobs

Hey BoB,
The Man sympathizes with you. I mean, what's a Man gotta do to deserve a cold one from time to time? Here's the solution - you sound like a Man's man. My guess is that you have a lot of empties lying around the apartment -- so instead of crushing them on your forehead or building that holiday beer pyramid, try returning your cans & bottles. I'm sure there'll be enough dough left over to spring for that heart shaped pendant The Man's been seing on TV.

Hey Man,
My parents think I should dress up for our family holiday gathering, when all I want to wear is a pair of jeans and my Urlacher Chicago Bears jersey. Who's right?

Chicago Joe

Hi Joe,
First off, show some resepct -- it's The Man! It's difficult to give solid answer on your question -- is the jersey the home blue, away white or orange third jersey? Either way, it's probably a good idea to not bite the hand that feeds you. How about this -- let's compromise and score some points in the process. You can wear the jeans as long as you wear that ugly sweater Mom gave you last year for Christmas. You know, the one with the tags still on it in the back of your closet. Just to show your pride, layer that sweater with a Bears t-shirt underneath.

Dear Man,
There's this hot co-worker of mine that I think, if given a few drinks, I could nail at the company Christmas party tonight. I've read a lot of articles about sleeping with co-workers, and most say it's a bad idea. But what does The Man think?

Horny in Houston

Hey Horny (The Man doubts that's your real name, by the way),
Don't sweat it -- there's no such thing as guilt-free office romance, so just have a few drinks and see what happens. If you're any kind of Man you'll get some from her or the girl in the cube next to you. Just don't get in her pants infront of the rest of the office -- that way it's your word against hers!

That's all for now, have a great Holiday!

Oh, and had Toledo not yanked their starting QB with 4 minutes to go he'd be 3-0 in his bowl predictions!

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